dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
