i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ugly people sure do ruin things
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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