Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
