Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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