Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
