not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
