Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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