Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
