I wanna bring you to show and tell
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
