I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
