Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
