Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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