I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
