I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
