Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So many bounce houses so little time
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
