SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
