man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
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Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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