Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
