I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
