Plan B is the new Plan A
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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