We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
