You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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