My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Boobs speak an international language.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
