plz talk dirty to me
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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