everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
