I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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