And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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