remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The beer is more important than you right now.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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