and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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