My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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