rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
