If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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