Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
