Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We got so high we made milksteak
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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