so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you inspire me to be a worse person
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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