so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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