What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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