You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
