help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
