Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
