Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
