Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
