Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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