I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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