and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
