he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
