M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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