If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
