I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
