The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
