i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
