You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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